Saturday, May 30, 2009
Letting go--- so, so difficult
As I mentioned in my previous post, saying good-byes are hard... but let me say that letting go is so, so difficult. It hurts. The word "sacrifice" keeps coming to mind. The dicitonary defines sacrifice as "forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a greater value or claim." If Jesus Christ is truly Lord of my life, the center and core of my very being, then I must let go of my selfishness, dreams, and heart's desires. I must place these all in the hands of my heavenly Father, so that God alone can be brought glory through my actions and that the life of which I live may pleasing to Him.
Good-Byes
In two days I will be waking up as I did today, but instead of going to sit on the swing outside I will probably be running around trying to get all my stuff together to head to the airport and later on that day I will begin a journey through which God has prepared me for and will guide me through- that is my trip to Africa.
This week has been filled with:
The laughter of my family.
The time spent with dear friends.
The tears of letting go.
The joys of seeing one last smile.
The last embrace of one who cherished me so much.
Car rides with friends who would do anything for me- the weeks on crutches proved it.
Lunch with sweet coworkers- whom have been a true blessing from God.
Cookouts with dad's family and friends- so many smiles, joy and love.
Witt's graduation and seeing Mama-Rue and Papa-Cha one more time.
Encouragement from phone calls, letters, and cards.
Prayers for a safe journey, stepping out in faith, and the Zerma people of West Africa.
Time in Sylacauga with my family and of course on the farm with my horses.
Time in Birmingham working, going to therapy and hanging out with my incredible friends.
This past week I've had to say good-bye to many friends and family. God has blessed me with the opportunties to hang out with so many of them one last time before I leave. There has been much encouragement and joy, but then too to be completely honest there has been sorrow and pain. It's hard saying good-bye to those I care so much about and love.
This week has been filled with:
The laughter of my family.
The time spent with dear friends.
The tears of letting go.
The joys of seeing one last smile.
The last embrace of one who cherished me so much.
Car rides with friends who would do anything for me- the weeks on crutches proved it.
Lunch with sweet coworkers- whom have been a true blessing from God.
Cookouts with dad's family and friends- so many smiles, joy and love.
Witt's graduation and seeing Mama-Rue and Papa-Cha one more time.
Encouragement from phone calls, letters, and cards.
Prayers for a safe journey, stepping out in faith, and the Zerma people of West Africa.
Time in Sylacauga with my family and of course on the farm with my horses.
Time in Birmingham working, going to therapy and hanging out with my incredible friends.
This past week I've had to say good-bye to many friends and family. God has blessed me with the opportunties to hang out with so many of them one last time before I leave. There has been much encouragement and joy, but then too to be completely honest there has been sorrow and pain. It's hard saying good-bye to those I care so much about and love.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
My Heart's Desire
As a young girl it was always my dream to be a missionary in Africa. I still remember those pictures in my colorful imagination of what life would be like without a roof over my head, electricity, running water, or grass in the yard... of how cool it would be to have friends who didn't have the same color skin as me or speak my language... and the thought that one day possibly I too could be able to experience all of this.
Two years ago as applied for summer missions, assignments in Africa were my first two choices; however, they were filled by the time for interviews and I was then chosen to serve in the country of my last choice- Serbia. Now, part of my heart will always be with the Serbs and I will always have a part of them with me. God showed me a lot about learning to keep my faith in the smallest of things and how I will not be able "to see the whole scope of His work from beginning to end" (Ecc. 3:11). To look back at stories of God's work and pictures of my time in Serbia you go to my first blog: to http://toriwilder.blogspot.com/.
As for this year... why Africa and not Serbia? (especially after the Serbs captured part of my heart two years ago and I anxiously await the time for God to send me back there.) Well as I was finishing up my application for summer missions, I had my heart set on going back to Serbia. It was where I left part of my heart, felt comfortable, and have many loving friends. Yet as I talked to God about it and looked back through project list, a two month project for Niger was listed that I hadn't seen previously. Immediately, those dreams of living in Africa came back to me! This had been the place for so many years where I desired to do missions. I really sought out the Lord about this decision. I felt God leading me to place Niger as my first choice and so I did, and with God's assurance I knew that one day He would call me back to Serbia. About two months later, I was accepted to serve in Niger.
Two years ago as applied for summer missions, assignments in Africa were my first two choices; however, they were filled by the time for interviews and I was then chosen to serve in the country of my last choice- Serbia. Now, part of my heart will always be with the Serbs and I will always have a part of them with me. God showed me a lot about learning to keep my faith in the smallest of things and how I will not be able "to see the whole scope of His work from beginning to end" (Ecc. 3:11). To look back at stories of God's work and pictures of my time in Serbia you go to my first blog: to http://toriwilder.blogspot.com/.
As for this year... why Africa and not Serbia? (especially after the Serbs captured part of my heart two years ago and I anxiously await the time for God to send me back there.) Well as I was finishing up my application for summer missions, I had my heart set on going back to Serbia. It was where I left part of my heart, felt comfortable, and have many loving friends. Yet as I talked to God about it and looked back through project list, a two month project for Niger was listed that I hadn't seen previously. Immediately, those dreams of living in Africa came back to me! This had been the place for so many years where I desired to do missions. I really sought out the Lord about this decision. I felt God leading me to place Niger as my first choice and so I did, and with God's assurance I knew that one day He would call me back to Serbia. About two months later, I was accepted to serve in Niger.
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